Hard Good-Byes

Having been in the realm of Health and Wellness for many years now, I have learned that there are so many positive benefits to making necessary, life-long changes. When you tell people "I want to be healthier" most people will tell you that's great, good luck, or something along the lines of "good for you!" More often than not, your close circle of individuals do mean that with their whole heart, they want you to do what's best for yourself.

But there's a dark side to bettering yourself that not many people openly talk about. It's the Hard Good-Byes.

I'm sure some of you that have already been down this path, or are beginning your journey know what I'm talking about when I say that. The thing is, being healthy doesn't just happen overnight. As you start to eat better, sleep better, exercise, and feel better all around; other things in your life start to change. Sometimes, as you shift the expectations for yourself, your expectations of others can change too. You may start to notice how your relationships are changing in the same way the rest of your life is changing.

As a result of defining boundaries within yourself to stay committed to healthier choices, you may start to notice your boundaries shift in other areas of your life as well. Maybe a friend you were close with no longer wants to hang out as much since you're drinking less. Maybe because of your healthier habits, you're losing weight and people are noticing in a way that causes them to be distant instead of supportive. Perhaps you are in a relationship with a partner that is feeling insecure about your growth and starts to treat you differently as a result.

Maybe all or none of these apply to you; maybe you're encountering a different scenario entirely. But sooner or later, as you grow on a personal level, that means you have to say a Hard Good-Bye to someone you love and care for very much. Sometimes for the sake of bettering yourself, you have to let some people go in order to protect your boundaries and your peace. Realizing that your best interest, including your Health and Wellness, is your first priority can sometimes mean realizing that not everyone around you will honor that.

In my experience, I have had to let go of many relationships that meant so m

uch to me. Including friends of several decades, family members, and intimate relationships I thought I would never live without. I'm here to tell you: it is hard. Some of these people will try to drag you through the mud about it. People who will

guilt trip you or talk badly about you to others. In those moments, it can be so hard to hold your head up and stay committed to yourself and your wellness. Their reactions are outside of your control, and how they choose to behave says more about their character than it does yours.

That's not to say there isn't a fair amount of pain and grief involved in letting these relationships go. Of course, it hurts. In fact, nothing hurts worse than having to let go of someone you love more than anything because they refuse to honor and respect your growth and your path. Beyond that, it's hard to see the people you love and care for refuse to grow with you and do better for their own sake.

I'm here to remind you: there is nothing more important than your own Wellness. People who truly love you will support you through this transition. Sometimes that's a tough pill to swallow too, realizing that the people you expected to show love and support are disappearing from your life. Nothing about growing and prioritizing yourself is easy.

So cut yourself some slack through the Hard Good-Byes. We're all human, after all. Humans are designed to want relationships. Let me reassure you, as you stay committed to being healthy, the right friends and significant others will stick with you. There are always new friends to be made along the way as well. Your circle will grow and change, just as you are. Take a deep breath. You and your circle have come a long way, and will still go even further from here.